Mind Games

I do not like being bullied into giving tips with passive-aggressive, thinly veiled expectation.

The traffic warden at the junction near my home gets a little too enthusiastic whenever he sees my car approaching, simply because I ‘dash’ him a little something every now and then.

The thing is, I can sense his expectation building when he spots me.  It seeps into my car even though the windows are rolled up, sucking all the air inside, very nearly suffocating me.  It bullies me into paying the unspoken toll fare, if only to end my anguish and also abate my concern that his face might zig-zag crack if it had to sustain the pasted-on smile for much longer.  

Empathy

As I drive closer, our eyes meet. We try to step into each other’s heads. To give or not to give this time?  Will I receive or not this time? The trumpets sound: 

“Let the mind games begin! May the odds ever be in your favour”

On the days that I succumb, I reach for my purse, he sees the dipping motion and becomes even more animated in the bid to clear my path faster than Moses parted the Red Sea.  I like that he feels the need to earn his tip.

I give. He hails me “Thank you Ma-Maa!”  He salutes me, actually touches the side of his palm against his forehead stiffly. We continue this awkward cycle of ‘Give once; Give forever more’ because I have wandered too deeply inside his head, that I am now stuck in this suffocating rite of passage (there’s definitely a pun in there).

On the days that I pass sans that dipping motion, his smile falters somewhat.  I silently berate myself for being overly sensitive to his nuances.

See, I appreciate what he does for me, especially on the days that I am running late. I should add that the junction is right beside a busy bus stop, the royal palace of the pompous kings of Lagos roads- Danfo bus drivers.  Those sons of anarchy whose unruly behaviour causes traffic jams.

Then again, I wonder, why am I paying him for doing his job? Why does he seem to feel entitled to these extras? I suppose it’s simply the way things are. The gap. That disparity. I understand.

Still, I like being in control of my decisions, giving of my own free will. Wordless coercion is the worst sort.

Same goes for the women who use their twin babies as begging props.  They lounge on raffia mats, body language casually demanding that someone else bears their burden by paying homage to the alm collection bowl.  The Naira notes inside the bowl make their mute appeal for more friends to play with.

Fate has unfixed, am I the fixer?  I struggle with my emotions;

With Annoyance – Laziness in this Lagos?! A more determined woman produced university graduates with her roadside Akara frying business.  The eager crowd around her firewood pan would make one wonder if the keys to a mansion on the gold-paved streets of heaven were embedded within the oily bean cakes.

With Guilt –  I contend with the quietly nagging WWJD (What would Jesus do) voice.

With Confusion –  But is it right to encourage this sense of helplessness until it becomes a bad habit?  With each Naira gifted, is it likely that she settles contentedly, accepting her lot in life?

With Pity –   No child should feel the cruel pangs of hunger.

With Reasoning –  Nature vs. Nurture.  Do we get to choose our landing places, that point from which the race of life starts?

Empathy is a two-sided coin…

Sign

 

 

PS: My thoughts on Chuma’s “Little Money” inspired this post.

 

60 comments

  2. Argh! Wordless coercion – worst. Haha, I hope to never participate in any games of this sort.

    Hmmm. Is it really though? Best? Probably. 2-way? That’s something I’ll ponder on.

    I love your posts. Short simple words capturing so much more. More ink to your pen! ✌🏾️

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Yes, it is the worst !

      The tricky part is that these games look for players, you simply just find yourself participating unintentionally . 😀

      I think it’s 2-sided, On the sentimental side, one steps into the shoes of the less fortunate person to feel their pain, and on factual side, one steps into the shoes and analyses the situation, weighing the likely root cause- Misfortune or Laziness.

      Thank you so much.

      Like

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  3. Nedo, the way people stylishly manipulate u into giving them. I made a decision during the yuletide period to reduce my benevolence and some people are still not talking to me. My family is growing, inflation is going up, expenses here and there.These people even use better phones than you and while u are ordering only 2/3 pieces of meat during ur lunch break,u sight over 5 pieces of assorted meat swimming their soup plate, some will still have the right to walk up to you to pay for their food! Part of thrifty things I did over the holiday was to cut down and harden up.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Hi,

      I wonder how I missed responding to this delicious comment.

      Lol @ “Stylish”. Yes, some people take advantage of kindness which makes one become over-doubtful about the sincerity of other requests.

      “5 pieces of assorted meat swimming their soup plate” cracked me up ehn!

      You’ve raised a good point, whilst kindness is a necessary act, these little tokens add up. There is no point being taken for granted by people who can obviously help themselves. It is thrifty to watch one’s expenses. 🙂

      Thank you so much for reading.

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  4. Eyah, you need one or more people like me in your life to harden you up a little bit, otherwise people will play on your niceness and want to take you for a ride. You have to start practicing how to say no , not because you can’t afford stuff but just for the fact that you can say it and heaven will not fall.. Plus, you will need that strength when you start parenting.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Hello Naija mum,

      Abi o! 😀

      Indeed, heaven will not fall if I say no, I am learning to separate the wheat from the chaff when dealing with other people’s spoken or unspoken requests.

      I agree, firmness is necessary when raising children. Lol

      Thank you so much for reading, have a great week.

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  5. Omo eh! No jokes eh Nedoux.. You can write for Africa faaaa.. Choi… chisooosssss… Aha! I am not hyping oh! aYam serious to the Tee.. I mean commeeeeooonn.. Writing style on Fleek (**please insert 2 hands in the Air smiley hia)

    @ “in the bid to clear my path faster than Moses parted the Red Sea.”

    heheheheheh Ghen Ghen! The guy dey serious on top your maRRa nah **Winks. I guess in Nigeria yeah.. A little extra Something.. can and WILL always earn you a little Extra blessing. But like you rightfully said.. When it becomes MANDATORY then it becomes an issue.

    There is a Certain Bank on Sanusi Fafunwa that small me has in recent times become their visitor of Laife.. When i was a fresh fish there.. I noticed how the Security Personnel(s) would greet me with so much Gusto (**Biko Lemme Check goan Google for the meaning first so i dont come and goan set myself up.. Okay.. We safe 🙂 ).. ehen! They would greet me like i was the King’s kid.. and i thought to myself back then.. that okay! This was all just for the expected “Happy Weekend” Tip and nothing more.. but over 2 Months gone.. and the Igbo man in me has refused to give them shinGbain (AKA nada)! so no Tip yet.. and still the enthusiasm is high Now when i do have the Tip.. I sure will. cause its them just doing their job… and they have earned it.

    My point with the above is.. What ever we give to a man.. Tip or Salary.. This 24 years 55 days old boy thinks… no! he KNOWS that it must first be earned and well deserved.

    Thank you for sharing Nedoux of Laiiffeee.. this was an interesting read..

    P.S: Mbok.. Biko… inshort Please tell me you write professionally for a Newspaper or something.. cause.. **cleans Sweat.. Your Style of Writing eh! Eeezz not a Joking sturvzz sam sam oh! Asin you defo don’t Blog with Kids gloves 🙂 as eett eess on fleek to the Tee. Cheers and Happy New Year to you and yours Bubba.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Hi Duru,

      Oh! Your comments always crack me up, you have a bubbly personality. 🙂

      I agree with you, I also prefer to give tips when I feel that it is either earned or well deserved.

      No, I don’t write for a Newspaper, thank you so much for your kind words.

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  6. Spot on post! I often mentally debate on whether or not to give (because some of these people are scammers) until I realise the opportunity has passed :D. I hate to stand beside a beneficiary while I search for notes to give. If it’s not handy, I move on.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Hello Keidi,

      Thank you so much for reading. 🙂

      I know what you mean. Sometimes, I spend time pondering over the actual situation of the person begging. It’s sad that the scammers have made us quite sceptic.

      Best wishes for the New Year!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  7. Very poignant piece, Nedoux. It’s irritating. The constant expectation after one kind gesture. Then the guilt that follows on the days you decide to steel your heart against any entreaties. Begging everywhere. A lot of people in our society take small kindness for granted. You start one nice gesture and you open up the floodgates for further requests. Even ridiculous ones. Then they feel entitled that you must give!

    Have I told you how beautiful and seamless your writing is? : )

    Thank you for your encouragement!

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Hi SEG,

      I agree, it becomes irritating when faced with expectations at every single turn over the day.

      I battle with the guilt, but I prefer to give because I sincerely want to give, not because I am afraid that God will punish me for not giving.

      Ah! Thank you so much my dear for all the support, it means so much to me. 🙂

      Best wishes for the New Year!

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  8. Welcome to Lagos, or maybe I should say Welcome to Nigeria! You’ve nicely summed up the moral / ethical dilemma one faces with people like this. And changing the traffic warden won’t even matter. His replacement will be another version of himself.

    As for the woman begging for alms, one wants to take pity especially when you see the children. But you wonder: she’s doing this because it works. If it didn’t maybe she’d have chosen another route. So the question is: are we (the givers) part of the problem?

    More questions.

    This was thought provoking, Nedoux. Keep ‘me coming! 🙂

    P. S. That hunger games reference was I point and yes, danfo drivers are the sons of anarchy. Okada drivers are their cousins.:D

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Exactly, his replacement might even hold up a sign “If I clear the road for you, dash me something” No time for mind games. Lol

      @ “she’s doing this because it works.” I like your line of reasoning, I wonder about that too. Are the givers somewhat fueling her complacency?

      Thank you so much for reading and for noticing the Hunger Games line.

      Yes! Okada drivers are their annoying cousins. XD

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  9. Maybe I am a witch, maybe I am a scrooge, maybe I am just desensitized, but I think I have managed to just “unlook” as much as I can. Apart from the wordless coercion, there is also the mind game of rate…how much is too much? How much is too little? If I am rewarding for a service, I’ll have a something to base the rate on…..but payment for hailing me? As a wise person said in a tweet I once saw “Uncle, you cannot out-hail me!!! I will match you hail for hail!”
    LOL
    N500 here, N1000 there, let’s add it up at the end of the month. I con here con count bridge? Comot for road joo!

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Hi Honey,

      Kai! Your comments always leave me in stitches. XD

      That’s another matter o, how much is enough? What’s the fitting rate for all the categories of hailings- does “Madam de Madam!” attract a higher fee than “Fine sister!” or “Aunty Yellow!” ?

      Lmao @ I will match you hail for hail”

      Thank you so much for reading.

      Compliments of the season!

      Like

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  10. Halo Nedoux! Long time. 🙂

    Your words…very well written as usual!
    For me, I never make eye contact if I know I ain’t parting with my cash that day. As for the women/child beggars on the streets, they have turned ‘begging’ to an art I tell ya! My heart bleeds for the polio stricken beggars. 😦

    In all, giving sometimes isn’t convenient but then still very rewarding. Despite the way literate folks and illiterates “ask” for money here in Naija.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Hi Duchess,

      Yes o!

      Thank you dear. 🙂

      I avert my gaze too if I decide not to give out my money. I’m quite emotional and sympathise quickly. That an able bodied woman would prefer to beg rather than find small work to feed her children, always baffles me.

      Ah! The polio situation is so heartbreaking, I always give to beggars disabled by the disease, I don’t even debate in my mind.

      You are right, kindness may not always be convenient, but it feels good to put a smile on another person’s face.

      Compliments of the season!

      Liked by 2 people

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  11. This your write up has many twists and turns. I believe its the consumer oriented mentality people have that made them beg. Amidst family it exists too.
    For me I give when I have, I am not a passport to your financial nirvarnah.
    The braincell are too overwhelmed to give appropriate comment at the moment, I need to offload some things

    You writes well though, merry Christmas in advance

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Hello Immanuel,

      You have a point.

      Lol @ “I am not a passport to your financial nirvana.” I agree, the decision to give should be at your sole discretion.

      Thank you so much for your kind words. Merry Christmas!

      Like

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  12. Ha! This topic is very sensitive. The one I hate the most are the officials at the airport. Lord help me. I get so angry at those. Those ones don’t even have a right to ask you for anything.

    Once I was having my bag searched by a woman who could be my grandmother or mother if she had kids really late and while going through my things she said “So do you have anything for the girls?” What girls? I was so pissed. The money I had were 1000naira notes my dad had just given me. I was still a student then and this woman who probably had my mates at home was squeezing my allowance from me. Her job didn’t even entitle her to get tips. At least the traffic warden was giving you preferential treatment which could justify his tips. This woman was holding my bag hostage as she squeezed the ransom from me. I told her I did not have change and she actually demanded I give her the note I had. With her hands still in my bag I knew I was not going anywhere until I had given her what she wanted. That’s criminal in my opinion.

    I have become so harden by experiences at the airport I don’t even want to ask for directions. The person might just ask for a tip or fee as I call it in my head for pointing you in a direction that might not even be right.

    Another set of people are the ones that just grab your bags or jump in front of you to “help” you when you don’t need it and then stand silently guilting you into giving. Many times I try to tell them not to worry and they insist and afterwards their looks guilt you into giving. If you insist and refuse to let them help, they mutter and give you attitude.

    I apologize for going on a rant here. The topic of being guilted or forced into giving is just one of my pet peeves.

    You write very well by the way.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Hello Alaerembo,

      I really enjoyed reading your comment, thank you so much for taking out time to share your thoughts. Your experience with the lady at the airport made me laugh. 😀

      Ah! This is a rant-worthy topic, It is sensitive because it dances inside everyone’s mind. It’s something that follows one about from place to place.

      I totally agree with you, the airport tipping is the one that annoys me the most for two reasons.

      First, some of the officials feel that anyone who is able to travel via an airplane automatically has money to spray about and they somehow believe that none of money inside your pocket should travel with you.

      Secondly, because they are in position of small power, they feel they can detain you and put tension inside your mind to pay their “passage fee” or be delayed. It is outright harassment!

      I always keep a straight stern face at the airport, I NEVER make eye contact with the officials inspecting my passport or my luggage, that way no one can guilt or force me. I’ve learned that people prefer to quickly dismiss you when you give off an impenetrable air.

      Thank you for your kind words!

      Enjoy the rest of the weekend.

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  13. Hi Nedoux,

    Its Runi ( Runor) ………………Fancy running into you here 🙂 , it’s been ages!!!! we certainly need to catch up. I hope all is well!!!!!
    Way to go girl i so love this blog and your so spot on with your thoughts.

    I still call it street begging lol , and it gradually has become a potential threat to societal fabric and eroding the idea of self-reliance in our dear Nigeria. My experience recently at work- in- progress Tent commonly referred to as Port-Harcourt airport left me speechless. I was returning home and kept getting happy new year ma! With looks conveying do me new year! I was thinking what the hell they do want from me, strip me to my last penny as I return back home? I could barely pass through any checks without a “ do me new yr”
    This behavior on the streets, homes and public places is just a clear manifestation of the injustice and in balances that define the economic system.

    On the contrary I would equate tips to an oppressive nature for customer satisfaction. Recently trendy restaurants in New York are are looking to ban Tips. Granted the tipping culture in the US is ridiculous. It used to be 10% was fair, now 20% has become the standard with many establishments offering the suggested amounts of 15%, 18%, and 20% of the post-tax bill amount. That is crazy. It was shocking to read that Danny Meyer the owner of the chain of restaurants met with and was influenced by Saru Jayaraman, a radical labor activist. And even Disturbing that one of the country’s most successful restaurateurs seeks to curry favor with avowed left wing anti-capitalists. Without tipping 1/3 to 1/2 of Mr. Meyer’s employees will see their take home wages substantially reduced. How is that progressive?

    Danny Meyer is either feeling guilty for his successes or cynically trying to change the restaurant culture in a way that benefits management. Either way, his front of the house employees stand to suffer.

    Reaction to the move online was swift, and decidedly mixed, with some calling it everything from “awesome” and “a godsend” to a “money grab” by owners. I am actually intrigued by the experiment and anxious to see how it played out.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Hi Runi,

      What a pleasant surprise! Thank you so much.

      I really enjoyed reading your comment. 😀

      Yes, it happens everywhere from the security man directing you as you back your car into the main road when you leave a bank to the officer inspecting your luggage at the airport.

      This afternoon, I was stopped at a police checkpoint, and with seriousness the officer instructed me to roll down my car window. He did not ask for my vehicle papers, instead he asked me “Anything for us?”

      You raised a very meaningful point, it is a clear indication of the ever-widening gap between economic classes in this country. A significant portion of the population earns so little, not enough to provide even basic needs.

      As annoying as the extortion may be, unfortunately, it is hunger that has caused it. Still, besides the hunger, there’s an unhealthy behaviour underneath all of this.

      Thankfully, in Nigeria, there’s no standard on tipping, only the very high-end restaurants include the tip percentage in the bill, but it’s not common practice. If a waiter really impresses one with excellent service, it’s one’s decision to tip them.

      Enjoy the rest of the weekend.

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  14. Ahh! You transported me back into the thick of things right back home in Lasgidi my Lagos.

    I can so relate to your description of his anticipation seeping into your car and suffocating you, that even if you turned your head in another direction and boned your face, you would still feel the creeping heat which makes your fine neck hair crackle.

    Sometimes, the overly eager parting of the Red Sea can get quite irritating but then a little voice in you nudges and you find your hands dipping into your purse just one more time.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Hi Jackie,

      Yes o, the many flavours of Lasgidi. I know you miss Lagos. 😀

      Lol… with this particular guy, even if I bone my face and turn my head, chances are that he’d come over to the other side to flash his smile.

      I understand why, the economy is bad, some people find ways to augment their income, they are “stylishly” asking for money to feed. Their approach is sometimes annoying though.

      Thank you for reading, have a lovely weekend.

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  15. I feel you. I once had a policeman at the junction too. I gave whenever I could because he controlled traffic at the junction for everyone come rain or sunshine. It seemed as if he gave me preferential treatment, waving my car past as soon as I appeared.

    I never felt any pressure. He was always smiling at everyone. I smiled and waved every time, whether I had something for him or not. He smiled back. He received many ‘gifts’ I suspect because of his commitment and attitude.

    In Lagos especially there are many ways people guilt trip or ‘bad mouth’ us into parting with our money. Lol, I’m thinking of a post I wrote about Effizzy, but I digress 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Hi Timi,

      That was a very nice policeman o.

      Ah! This particular warden’s anticipation is palpable. There is pressure to be felt, for over-thinkers like myself. A few days ago I followed his eyes as they travelled to my hands to check if I had the “goods”.

      There’s another warden that I see elsewhere, he is a delight to watch. He almost break-dances as he controls traffic, his big smile is a “just because…” sort of smile. It widens when drivers flash him an appreciative thumbs-up or wave.

      Yes, many ways to get people aboard the guilt trip bus. I’ve observed that Lagosians wear thick guilt armours, one in fifty drivers will give handouts. I guess Lagos traffic has a way of contaminating charitable moods. Lol

      Thank you for reading, I am off to search for the Effizzy post on your blog. Have a lovely weekend. 🙂

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  16. You write really well Nedu!
    With those kids, I don’t even stress myself and I put on the straightest face when I see them walking towards me. They annoy me sometimes because once you give one, others will huddle around you and start begging so I just avoid it by not even putting myself in that situation

    http://www.cassiedaves.com

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    1. Hi dear,

      Thank you for your kind words. It’s one thing to write, it makes me happy when someone finds it worthwhile to read. 🙂

      Yes, the poker face works well in that situation, I have tried it sometimes.

      I pity the children, they didn’t ask for this sad situation. What actually annoys me is their lazy parents, you’ll find them lounging not too far from where they’ve sent their children on their collecting assignments.

      Little kids have become breadwinners so early in life.

      Have a lovely weekend!

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  17. Beautiful… This is beautiful.

    I do get caught up in moments like this which sometimes feel good. Especially with the fuel attendants when there’s scarcity but most times, there’s none and I feel, is this really paying it forward or just paying dues?
    Though, there are times I do match some of them ‘hailing for hailing’ but then again, *sighs*

    In all, we should be thankful that we are the one giving nd not the one receiving cos I guess they will also like to be in a situation where they can give.

    Some of them are just too lazy like the mothers begging for food for their kids when they can work but its obvious that what they make per day by begging, they feel they can’t make it by trading or working.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Hi Tola,

      Thank you so much for the insightful comment.

      Lol…”Hailing for hailing” cracked me up. XD

      I do that sometimes, delivering a cheeky “Anything for the girls?” when I receive “Anything for the boys?”

      I agree with you, one must be grateful, Life has it’s ups and downs. Yes, no one could possibly like roaming the hot dusty streets asking for handouts.

      It is those ones who annoy me, they’ve just decided to settle for laziness. I respect a person selling water sachets in traffic than one begging for handouts. There is dignity in labour.

      Have a lovely weekend!

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  19. I feel you.

    Everybody goes through this in this our city, and some people are just skilled at filtering, blocking this guilt out.

    Just going to say that nobody is actually ENTITLED to YOUR handouts. I try my best to not be entitled/presumptuous, so as much as possible, I don’t let anyone put that on me. Be as generous as you possibly can, but don’t let anybody make you feel bad. Quite a few times I have given very foolishly- to scammers, to people that told me tall tales about needing help. Like the people who are always stranded and asking for money to go home, or the one I caught up late on- needing money to go meet a pregnant about to pop wife in the hospital. I later realised I had fallen prey to their “format” and it made me ask myself- why. Why always me? If I’m with people and someone comes to beg, I’m the person they focus on.

    What is it about me that draws this kind of attention? Do I look like Mother Teresa? No. I just look super super gullible (this I know) I look like it’s not hard to pull at my heartstrings or put something on my conscience. There’s a lot of psychology in this- as the title of the post recognizes. Somehow, you may be getting played.

    This comment is way longer than I intended, so again, the standard I try to apply to everything and everyone. Is this person entitled to this thing I have? If the answer is no, I am at ease. I give freely, but it’s important to me that I do not do so because someone thinks he’s entitled to it, or because I just don’t want to look bad. As the spirit moves, abi?

    Liked by 2 people

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    1. Hi Ekene,

      You left me a deliciously insightful comment, it feels like a gift of the entire ice-cream stand at Cold Stone. So many yummy things about it, I am so spoilt for choice. Thank you so much.

      Lol…The pregnant wife scam cracked me up. @ “Format” XD

      The guilt filter is sometimes necessary, it serves as protection against those who sadly abuse people’s natural emotions when approached by a less fortunate person.

      Yes o, as the spirit moves, My handouts are MY prerogative, it is money that I worked hard for.
      .
      Have a super weekend!

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      Reply

  21. Oh gosh, Nedu, you’ve said it all. Everyday I deal with this and today was extra frustrating and I lost my cool. It makes me so mad, the endless mind games and tipping at all points just to get people to do their jobs (which they are being paid for in the first place).

    Today I lamented how impossible it seems to do business here in Ghana, how no one seems to take pride in excellence and a job well done. Where did our pride go? When did we gain a reputation of low standards and quality? Oh the shame of it…

    And about the beggars… I share the inner conflict. So many issues, so many things wrong with the world…oh well.

    All this to say, you summed up my day so well in this post! Hmmm.

    Anyway, have a good week dear. Beautifully written post!

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Hi dear,

      You always come up with a fresh angle that I can learn from. Thank you so much. 🙂

      I agree with you, people seem to require tips to motivate them to do what they are supposed to do in the first place. What started as an amusing bad habit has gradually become the natural order of things.

      But then again, I understand that it’s because of “stomach economics”. A hungry man needs to feed, the money has to come from somewhere and regardless of how it comes, hunger doesn’t care.

      Yes, very conflicting. I am certain that no one wishes to roam the streets begging for alms, but how does one even begin to right all the many wrongs?

      Have a wonderful rest-of-the-week.

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  22. I won’t comment on the woman/children on the street, but I can’t ignore the passive-aggressive request for tips. At work, the security guys routinely, almost daily, ask people for money – “Happy Weekend. Happy Friday. Happy Monday” aka “Give me money.” It has turned from asking to expecting, and if you don’t give, some of them start having an attitude!

    Berry Dakara Blog

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Hi Berry,

      Lol @ Happy Monday. The passive-aggressive request is like a living, breathing thing that follows you everywhere. From car-park attendants to the doormen at supermarkets. The throbbing anticipation sometimes makes it seem like a long overdue debt.

      I personally prefer outright asking to wordless expectation. That way, the cards are laid on the table and it’s easier on my mind. It allows me to articulate my Yes or No.

      Have a wonderful rest-of-the-week.

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  24. Beautifully written as usual. I struggle when those women stretch out their hands to me and I end up feeling guilty sometimes when I don’t give. Other times I tell myself she’s fit, she can find menial jobs. Then I think of the kids and sigh!

    Epiphany29.com

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    1. Hi Grace,

      Thank you for reading. 🙂

      I struggle sometimes too. I understand that Life can be tough and that it could have been anyone in that sad position.

      Still, one of my concerns is that some might fall into the pit of complacency, by feeling content with how things are, with no plans to fight for a better future.

      My heart breaks when I think of the children, they didn’t ask for that sort of life.

      Have a wonderful rest-of-the-week.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  25. Miss N – Your woooorrrdddsss. Well-written and bleeding with truth, this post. I, too, live in the world of wordless coercion and being too sensitive to the nuanced body language/communication of others. Sometimes it drives me mad. Sometimes it forces me to simply look away or look down. But I can’t not look. Again, your words. Thank you.

    Liked by 2 people

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    1. Hi Lady,

      Thank you so much, your kind words really mean a lot to me. Now I feel like a serious-minded person. 😀

      Oh, you really get it! I live in that world too, I spend too much time inside other people’s heads. I try but I can’t not ignore it. One becomes an unwilling puppet.

      Have a wonderful rest-of-the-week.

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