Valid

Maxine W

To the woman who crashed into my car with the force of a wrecking ball a week ago,

My car was stationary as it was impossible to inch forward. We were both stuck in unyielding peak hour traffic, yet your excuse was that you thought I was moving. In plain speak, you took your eyes off the immobile car in front of you and accelerated as if you were cruising along the highway on a Sunday.

My smouldering anger at you was valid, not because of what it would cost me at the auto body shop but because what you did was entirely avoidable.  Mindlessly, you told me “This is Nigeria” when I crossly advised you to be more careful in the future.  I hope you find yourself in many Nigerias and as you drive daily, may your path be richly coloured with the green-white-greens.

To the boy who hit the side of my car three weeks ago,

My car was stationary, parked in the designated parking lot of a supermarket as I’d gone in to buy dried mango.  All you had to do was reverse and go on your merry way, but no, you felt obligated to leave me a less than artful souvenir of your car paint.

My icy anger at you was valid because what you did was entirely avoidable, but you wouldn’t have known it from my silence. It was as though you were invisible the way I looked through you while you explained that it was not intentional. I ignored you and drove away. I wonder, would anything have remained of my car had it been intentional?

To the man who bashed the back of my car nine weeks ago,

My car was stationary as we “stood” like soldiers-at-attention in traffic. I looked forward to getting home after a long day but you assumed your destination was more important than mine and that if you “elbowed” my car aside, then you’d have room to elevate yours and float high above every other car, being the chief priest of the road and all.

My white hot anger at you was valid, as valid as the “God punish you” that I furiously pressed into your palm as a parting gift, because what you did was entirely avoidable.  Oddly, it was your profuse apologies that annoyed me the most.  It sounded so empty, as useless as the “P” in pneumonia.

So, to the three of you, I reiterate that my anger was as valid as the sun rising in the east and setting in the west. I was entitled to it because it was all I had to comfort me there and then, after your carelessness dampened my good day. It reminded me that I am human, a living breathing person with feelings.

I’ll admit that as I drove away I fantasised about the closure I would have gotten from an Eye-for-an-Eye. I imagined myself doing to your car what you’d just done to mine, politely repaying the favour you’d done me all by myself because ever since Karma kissed a tortoise she takes forever to arrive.

Yes, I was giddy with the perverse pleasure it gave me as I imagined both your shock and my falsely innocent smile daring you to show me your invalid anger, letting you know that I had enjoyed shoving empathy down your throat, that I was delighted at the sight of your blistered feet as you walked a mile in my shoes.

Well, I replayed the mental scene over and over and over until my anger cooled, until I truly let it go completely. When I started to feel nothing but indifference, it was then that I knew I’d spent every last cent of my valid entitlement.

My anger had placated me.

Sign

 

 

 

PS: Ah! My car is a mess. XD

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89 comments

  1. I enjoyed reading this.
    There is something in us that triggers our reaction to situations sometimes. And in hindsight we would often wish we had acted differently.
    I had an experience with a bank security a whole back. I met him for clarification and I felt his response was insulting. I brought to his notice and he brought up the “I have your mate at home” that really pissed me off , even though I was expecting it.
    I guess it’s any part of the ‘Nigerianess’ we need to discard.
    Age doesn’t determine right or wrong or does it?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Mr. X43,

      Sincerely sorry for not responding sooner, I lost track of this. Thank you so much for reading. 🙂

      I agree with you, because some actions have repercussions, there are times when we wish we could press the rewind button and play it out differently, saying less or perhaps even more.

      Less-than savoury behaviour should not be excused with “Nigerianess”. No, it doesn’t, age is no indicator of common sense. Lol

      Enjoy the rest of the week.

      Like

  2. Omg…lol. Oh wow, I can’t even imagine the way your car must look right now. Perhaps maybe it can be qualified as vintage soon enough and be put in a museum to show how rugged it lived life in the hands of Nigeria..haha

    Okay so maybe you didn’t get the joke but you write well Nedoux and it’s so good to see you ‘pen’ down words beautifully well.

    I do hope you’re enjoying your weekend 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Itunu,

      I am laughing and typing my response to you. I love your sense of humour. @”Museum” XD

      Indeed, all the tribal marks on the exterior of my car are evidence of the road culture in Lagos.

      Thank you so much for your kind words.

      Warm regards!

      Like

  3. Lmao! this sounds like my old bae of a car. It went through hell and back. Thank God for something called insurance in this country I live in. It finally got totaled one lovely day (sad sad day it was). I cried my eyes out over my bullshit dent looking car lol. People blaming Nigerianness for their mistake is exactly why I do not attempt to drive when I am in Nigeria. I do not have the energy for it. Someone hit the car while the driver was driving the other day. I got down and started talking law in my “American” english. They gave me the what the fuck look ( I forgot for a few seconds I was in naija o) LMAO!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Folake,

      “Bae of a car” cracked me up. Ah, our cars are like faithful companions.

      Exactly, people sometimes wave their Nigerianness like it’s a hall pass that entitles them to forgiveness for their silly behaviour. It’so tiresome!

      Using “American English” to have an argument on Naija roads will barely scratch the surface of the car basher’s guilt , I can only imagine their amusement. XD

      Thank you so much for stopping by, best wishes for the rest of the week.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. My first time here… I am so sorry dearest, people are so inconsiderate and it hurts to see that no one even cares about how you feel… They think they have the license to hurt someone without even feeling remorse about it…

    What a world! I pray God forgives them and I think it is good to just let it out…

    You have a beautiful blog by the way…

    http://www.deveinmesite.wordpress.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Judith,

      I am sincerely sorry for not responding sooner, I lost track.

      Thank you so much dear. Yes, people can be inconsiderate because they feel somewhat entitled to our forgiveness.

      I’m so glad you found my blog. Enjoy the rest of the week!

      Like

  5. I cannot ignore the precision with which you articulate your thoughts Nedoux! You’re a super writer. Now, let’s discuss Nigerians and their anger censorship board! like who died and made you anger regulator?? every crazy attempt at placating me increases the fire of my anger. i do not understand how we arrived at “at least nobody died” errr how is it the topic. the topic is my broken car! Before i start to “remove steam from my head”
    pele dear. God will always provide.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Larz,

      I am sincerely sorry for not replying sooner, I lost track.

      You have a lovely way of boosting my writing confidence, I really appreciate your kind words.

      Lol @ Anger Censorship Board” . They’ll be busy making someone feel guilty for showing a natural emotion that is only human. Utter nonsense! 😀

      It would have been rather strange if I’d given the car bashers a loving hug and kiss before wordlessly driving off. In fact the same anger regulators would have declared my sanity questionable!

      Thank you dear. Best wishes for the rest of the week.

      Like

  6. Awhh Darling, Sorry about ur car. Nigerians are generally very impatient. Yes, u had every right to be angry. Do you have a comprehensive insurance? You should get one if u don’t. The premium may be high depending on the value of the car, but it is so worth it. Insurance pays for all my car bash repairs.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi dear,

      I am sincerely sorry for not responding sooner, I lost track.

      Thank you so much, Indeed, “Impatience” is our common middle name. 😀

      My car is insured but there are some bashes that are easier fixed by one’s self especially when they happen too frequently.

      Enjoy the rest of the week!

      Like

  7. Nne, gbahara biko. All these Nigerian drivers that claimed unintentional and then you have to and up spending your dime on their behalf. I have only hit someone’s car once or twice in my entire driving life and that was during the learning process, don’t know why others won’t be as cautious as that.

    Btw, I miss this space so much but now I’m in the WordPress family, I aren’t going anywhere.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Nkem,

      Sincerely sorry for not responding sooner, I lost track.

      Thank you so much. That’s the annoying part, having to incur unbudgeted expenses for their carelessness, whether intentional or not. 😀

      Enjoy the rest of the week!

      Like

  8. Chai Nedu sorry o. I can imagine how you must have felt.
    This thing we do here where we don’t allow people express themselves freely is quite annoying.
    “Ah ahn, why are you angry over this small thing?”
    “Is that why you are crying?”
    “At least thank God that nobody died”
    etc.
    What is “This is Nigeria”? After destroying someone’s precious property due to your own carelessness?
    Yes, things are hard here. Yes, our government officials are mostly incompetent and corrupt. Yes, we are all super busy and pressed for time, but how does being careless, brash and insensitive help?

    Such an exhausting society.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Sky,

      Your insightful comment aptly summarised the whole purpose of my post. 😀

      Indeed, people are not allowed to express their true feelings because of these rules for what is deemed as appropriate behaviour indoors or outdoors.

      Lol… Sometimes, the “Ahn Ahn, is that why you are angry?” adds fuel to my fire, it makes me feel like I am being judged for being angry when I am within my natural rights to be angry.

      Therein lies the irony, we condemn our political leaders for the very same selfish behaviour that we ourselves exhibit.

      Thank you so much for stopping by, have a lovely weekend.

      Like

  9. My dear sister, please forgive me for laughing, but I couldn’t help it. Some Lagos drivers are completely insane, mental, and retrogrades. It’s just an appalling habit the way they squeeze themselves into spaces that can barely accommodate a guinea pig and then start apologizing for their stupidity. Imagine the lady saying that this is Nigeria. Shame on her indeed. These are the people that mouth off negatively about the Country yet on an individual level, they don’t contribute anything positive to it. Kpele my dear.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Sis,

      Lol, I am glad you saw the funny side, once my anger passed I found the whole palava quite hilarious. 😀

      Honestly, the way some drivers behave in Lagos traffic is mind-boggling.

      Exactly! Some people complain about the country and its leaders, yet right inside their own small sphere their own behaviour reeks of an absolute disregard for others.

      Thank you so much o. Have a lovely weekend.

      Like

    1. Hi Chioma,

      Lol @ “They shall not find you”. Amen!

      To be honest, moments after the third accident, my paranoid side came out and I started to wonder if I’d unknowingly entered a jinx, and it worried me somewhat. When I mentioned it to my mother she dismissed my fears with considerable irritation, I bet in her mind she said “Tufiakwa!”. XD

      Thank you so much for reading, have a lovely weekend.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Oh wow that’s a lot of accidents! I’m glad no one was hurt! And I’m surprised the car is still functional after all that 😂😂 Driving in Pakistan is basically the same free for all. Traffic rules back home are apparently more of a suggestion than a law 😑 I love driving in USA though, so easy compared to Pakistan 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi N,

      Lol… Ah! My car is tough like a girl who despite many heartbreaks insists that she still believes in true love. 😀

      @ “More of a suggestion than a law” really cracked me up.

      The traffic culture in Pakistan is quite similar to Nigeria, we like to joke that zebra crossings are simply decorative embellishments on the road because no one ever slows down, it would be suicidal for pedestrians to stroll casually across those stripes. XD

      Thank you so much for visiting, enjoy the rest of the week.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hiya!

      I saw “Fuckery” and literally fell into a giggly heap . XD

      Ah! “Catapulted” aptly describes the sort of anger that gets one from zero to a hundred in seconds. Exactly how I felt. Lol

      Thank you for reading, enjoy the rest of the week.

      Like

    1. Hi,

      Indeed, it’s the thoughtlessness that annoys me. Ah! I didn’t feel particularly graceful. 😀

      Thank you so much for stopping by. Have a great week.

      Like

  11. Wow Nedu, three times only this year? Thankfully, you’re unharmed! I hate it when I hear “this is Nigeria” when someone is trying to get away with a wrongdoing. So we should act uncivilized because Nigeria is a jungle abi?

    I’m glad you rose above their stupidity.Yes, your anger was very valid. I have done some crazy things in the heat of road rage. Like chase after a bus driver who ruined my bumper and then tried to race away. I caught up with him and the police got involved.

    Let’s hope it doesn’t happen again biko. In this economy faaaa.. No money for mechanic abeg.

    Take care and have a fabulous weekend!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi dear,

      Lol… And the year has only just begun.

      The “This is Nigeria” gives an annoying sense of entitlement that bad behaviour is excusable. Sadly, it flows from the top to the bottom across society.

      Recently, I read a tongue-in-cheek article in which the writer announced her decision to cut off her toes, so that no one would be able to step on them. If you can’t step on my toes, you cannot annoy me.

      In Lagos, that would amount to not stepping out of one’s home, as annoyances lurk in every corner. XD

      The mental image of the bus driver chase cracked me up. Those guys are agents of provocation.

      Ah! It’s the unnecessary expense that annoys me. Well, Yusuf the panel beater would be delighted to see me. One man’s meat…

      Have a beautiful week.

      Like

  12. Hey Nedoux.

    I bit at the right side of my lower lip as I read this.

    The next image that jumped on my mind is how weak I look after each “kiss” on the road.

    Shockingly, before it happens I am sure the offender will PAY and then it happens and that weak “what would Jesus do” feeling finds it’s way into my mind, leaving me with the responsibility of doling out ‘unbudgeted’ bucks for a bloody avoidable mistake. Oh how i dislike Lagos drivers!

    Kisses should be beautiful, only when the parties are in agreement. I’m sorry you got a couple on Lagos roads within such short intervals.

    And i’m sorry about your car. If it is red, it’ll be a sexy mess! Red is sexy anyhow 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Flo,

      Oh! You truly understand how I felt. Yes, what annoys me the most is the unplanned financial cost for someone else’s mistake.

      Lol @ “kiss”. For the first few minutes after each forced kiss, shock numbs me almost to the point of denial, then I accept it and my anger comes rolling.

      One strives to react in a manner that pleases God and reflects a graceful composure, but sometimes it is so hard to be aloof when unfairly provoked.

      It’s a black sexy mess. XD

      Thank you so much for cheering me up. I wish you happiness this week!

      Like

    1. Hi Timeka,

      Thank you so much.

      Anger can be energy sapping but it’s an outlet for hurt feelings when provoked.

      It would have been odd if I’d given them a kiss and hug after crashing into me. That would have freaked them out for sure. 😀

      Have a lovely week.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Aww Nedu I’m really sorry about your car.. “Chief priest of the road” really made me laugh though but come to think of it, that could have been the mans mindset.. I’m invisible, let me fly lol. I can imagine how many times you’ll have had to say the serenity prayer subconsciously to keep from commiting murder. Indeed your anger was valid. Sorry love.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Ella,

      Thank you so much. Your comment cracked me up, Lol @ Serenity Prayer. XD

      Sometimes, it’s the sense of entitlement that annoys me even more than the recklessness, as if their daddy owns the road.

      Best wishes for the rest of the week.

      Like

  14. This is Nigeria? So what?? I think that’s the scenario that got me steaming.. valid steaming!

    My dear so sorry about all the bashing.
    I pray it doesn’t cost you much to fix it up.

    Cherry dear. Have a lovely week.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Tamie,

      Ah! This is Nigeria- So tighten your seatbelt cos it’s going to be one heck of a ride. 😀

      Lol @ Valid Steaming.

      Thank you so much dear, I pray so too.

      Best wishes for the rest of the week,

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Tobi,

      Those were her exact words. Perhaps, her own way of saying “Be prepared for unpleasant surprises at any given moment”. 😀

      Lol…Though one strives to conduct themselves gracefully when provoked, I believe that anger is only a natural reaction.

      Thank you for reading, best wishes for the rest of the week.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. The nerve! The IMPETUS!!! *in mom’s voice*

    Nne, so sorry about your “baby”. Loool @ your mom’s reaction.

    Lagos way of driving is…madness! Many folks driving need 10-year daily therapy. Chai!!!

    So sorry babes. Thank God your anger has dissipated. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi dear,

      Ah! I read “Impetus” in my mothers voice and I burst out laughing. XD

      Lol @ “10 year daily therapy”. Some drivers would also require psychological evaluation or better still mental deliverance, to cure them of the false belief that their father owns the road.

      Thank you so much.

      Best wishes for the rest of the week.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Adaeze,

      Lol… You understand how I felt.

      I wrote this post while reflecting over my reaction. One struggles with finding the right balance between being Christianly and accepting the bits of our humanity that fall outside that box. Anger is a natural reaction, I refuse to feel guilty about being angry.

      Indeed, God help us avoid people who keep hearing voices in their heads furiously whispering “Close your eyes and keep driving, close your eyes and keep driving” over and over again till they comply. 😀

      Thank you for stopping by.

      Warm regards.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Lol, @ close your eyes and keep driving’ 😁😁. You have a very good sense of humour. God forbid bad thing to drive behind, sideway or upfront such zombie drivers.

        Liked by 1 person

  16. Nedu! First of all, I hope you are ok after all this car bashing. Secondly, hope your car is going strong. I’ve always said it: I have so much respect for people who drive back home…you handled all 3 situations very well coz I’m getting the impression that whilst you were boiling with rage inside your gave off a cool demeanour…omg in an alternative universe you would have bitch slapped the first woman and then gone to her, ‘Well this IS Nigeria…’ ( :

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Biki,

      Thank you so much, I’m fine o, was “shaken not stirred” (in James Bond’s voice).

      Yes, I was boiling, and gave the first and third a not-so-cool piece of my mind, but I had to let it go.

      Lol @ “Bitch slapped” Ah! Ever since the marriage between camera phones and gossip blogs, one must be very careful, before one sees unflattering photographs of one’s self on Linda Ikeji alongside a reputation slaying caption such as “Ladies at war on Lagos road” 😀

      Best wishes for the rest of the week.

      Liked by 2 people

  17. Hello Nedu,

    Pele, I’m just thinking about all the wahala it would take to fix the car.

    There’s nothing wrong with being angry – we need that feeling from time to time.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Chuma,

      Thank you so much. Fixing over and over is such a hassle, I’ve decided to leave it as it is for a while, till I am certain that this series of unfortunate events has run its course. 😀

      You know what amuses me about car accidents, it seems to come out of nowhere, one minute you are sitting in your car jiggling to shoki, feeling at peace with yourself and the world, then the next thing is “CRASH“.

      Indeed, anger is only natural, bottling it up till it stews into indignation is toxic.

      Have a great week.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Not a funny matter but can’t help but giggle… sorry.

    Hear what that woman said ‘This is Nigeria’, it is something like that makes me believe our collective healing will be slow unless people start facing consequences for their ‘sins’

    In contrast to your (mis) adventure: I was in traffic a few years back, a lady can’t wait 2 seconds for me to move out of the way, she turned left and hit my car on the side, damaging two doors, I was gobsmacked, for one, only unwise person would do that in a country where you know you will be held accountable for every penny. Anyways, I just sat there thinking it was way too early in the day (around 8am) for anyone to be under influence of whatever she must have been on.

    Because I have a comprehensive insurance cover, I was given a complimentary car for two weeks, 2 car doors replaced. Her insurance paid for everything but I am sure she is still paying the premium of being careless 4 years later, she is not going to forget that soon as it is a bit steep.

    I really hope that people should not be allowed to drive if they can’t afford insurance – this is what makes everyone respect simple rules of the road and apply common sense in situations.

    Glad you manage to vent it off… I bet your car is happy to get a break from panel beaters 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Folake,

      I am so glad that you saw the funny side, I laughed while writing this piece. 😀

      Though I was angry at their seeming disregard to another person’s property, it showed me the general mindset in Nigeria.

      We have become so accustomed to a “Take it as you see it” culture, that it’s made us complacently accept standards that are below par, and even worse it’s also made us feel entitled to other people tolerance when we behave badly.

      Ah! We ease our frustrations by chanting “It is well” and move on.

      I agree with you, because of the absence of real consequences, people don’t feel accountable and don’t feel obliged to act with care.

      Thank you for sharing your insightful comment, best wishes for the rest of the week.

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Nedu, I’m so sorry you passed through such nonsense events. People can be so insensitive to others. You handled yourself quite well is those situations. I’m not sure what I’d have done if I were in your shoes. Truly, anger when handled well is valid. It’s better letting it out than allowing your emotions eat you up on the inside.

    I hope you’re able to fix your car when it’s time! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Seun,

      Thank you so much. Indeed, it felt like nonsense. Lol

      One fumes for a bit after being unjustly provoked, after a while they realise that yelling isn’t going to get the car fixed, neither will the profuse apologies being rendered by the offenders. So, one gathers their angry self along with their anger and leaves the scene.

      You are right. I believe that anger in itself is not a sin, but we must be mindful that our anger does not lead us to sin. I prefer to let my anger take its natural course, then I move on. Suppressing it only tortures me.

      Eventually, I’ll get it repaired. 😀

      Warm regards!

      Like

    1. Hi Cassie,

      Lol @ “removing steam from his head”. All these agents of joy-stealing busy roaming the roads, camouflaging as drivers.

      With the exception of the second person, I wasn’t all that calm but I had to let it go, not all battles are won on Lagos roads.

      Thank you so much, God will always provide. 😀

      Have a super week!

      Like

  20. The 3rd time how did you refrain from not kicking off your heels and engaging in a serious fight, whether verbal or physical? I mean… You’ve actually earned the right to be aggravatedly aggressive! That This-is-Nigeria lady deserves the ‘Do you know who I am’ card thrown at her. Imagine.

    Thank God for grace that helped you subsequently calm your provocation. I now understand that part of the scripture that says God wouldn’t give us the temptation bigger than what we can handle. Under same circumstances with me, i’m sure some innocent people would have taken the brunt if i didn’t implode from those offenders acts

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Oluchee,

      Lol @ “Kicking off your heels”

      Ah! Physical fight ke? In this era of social media, all it takes is for one overzealous spectator to whip out their camera phone and the headline on Linda Ikeji would be a catchy “Frustrated Female Lagos Driver engages in fist fight“, and my good reputation (real or imagined) would be gone with the wind. XD

      I yelled for a bit at the first and the third, and then allowed myself indulge in the fantasy of retaliation till I felt better.

      You are so right, it takes the grace of God to let go of anger, but it is not always easy to remain aloof when one is unfairly provoked.

      I enjoyed reading your comment, thank you. Best wishes for the rest of the week.

      Like

  21. HECK TO THE NAW!!! This is What? And so What?

    OMG, I’m actually boiling here like it was me it happened to. Road rage to the max! I dare anybody to try me!

    Of course your anger was justified. You’re even nice that you seemed to hold your cool. I would have GONE OFF!!!!!!

    In fact, let me leave here and cool down cos I’m legit getting annoyed. I hate bad driving.

    Berry Dakara Blog

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Berry,

      Lol…This is Nigeria where anything can happen, And so wear the amour of complacency and take it as you see it.

      I am convinced that some road users are specifically sent on “Day spoiling” missions. 😀

      Ah! With the exception of the boy, I went off on the other two. Bad driving in itself is not the issue, but bad driving that results in damages to other people is what irks me.

      Thank you for reading, have a lovely week.

      Like

  22. You don’t bash my car
    Oyibo repete
    You don’t hit my car
    Gbese repete

    Ndo my love. I feel your pain truly. I could be driving now but when I think of the cost of driving: with fuel costs esp with scarcity costs included, the added cost of policemen and LASTMA officials who will look for any and every opportunity to detain you as well as the cost of repairing the results of someone else’s impatience, I’m quite happy taking the bus.
    Sorry to the car too. I’m actually surprised you didn’t give it a name.
    Yes your anger is valid. But I’m happy that you let it go.
    Take care.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi dear,

      I burst out laughing and sang along. 😀

      Ah! Lagos Driving 101 should be a course in the School of hard knocks. As if battling with some of the other drivers’ questionable sanity isn’t enough, then add LASTMA officers into the mix and it becomes a survival of the fittest contest.

      The car used to be called “Baby” until my mother heard me and said a loud “God forbid”.

      Funny how anger feels somewhat therapeutic sometimes, especially when we finally let go.

      Thank you for stopping by and cheering me up, have a beautiful week.

      Like

  23. There is an adage by my people that says “its only a not well bred someone that will see reasons to be angry and not be angry”.
    Driving in Nigeria is such a mess especially in one of the rowdiest states of the nation – Lagos. It is quite alarming and depressing to have had 3 bashing just in two months. You have every reasons in the world to express your anger not because of the stupidity of the accused(basher) but the cost of repairs to those never smiling, money grabber autos mechanic.
    I hate that usual part of unscrupulous begging as if I’m the alpha and omega that dishes out forgiveness without qualm. Oga let discus about how to fix this mess you caused instead rolling on the floor like a pig in the quirmire of apologies.

    I noticed that female drivers are usually more at the receiving end of such bashing by male drivers. It’s quite a scene when you see a male driver unapologetic to the female driver car he bashed just because he has a good ember of testosterone running through his cell.

    Sorry, I just hope the repairs won’t cost much deep into your pocket.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Immanuel,

      I sincerely appreciate your comment. As usual, you mixed humour and reason with beautiful precision. 😀

      I have to admit that the last accident made me very sad. While anger is generally condemned, the truth is that it a very natural reaction, Ironically, it has a way of cleansing the mind, when it passes through the system and evaporates after running its course.

      Lol @ “rolling on the floor like a pig in the quirmire of apologies.” Danfo drivers are the undisputed champions at rolling on the floor when faced with the consequences of their recklessness.

      Ah! I’ve decided to leave the car as it is for a while, until I am sure this series of unfortunate events have truly ceased.

      Thank you so much for stopping by, best wishes for the week!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hi Nedu,

        Lol, really? Humor with a sense of reason? I don’t know how to express without seeking opinion from those two constant companion. Thanks very much for pointing that out.

        On the issue on danfo drivers being the king of bashers with years of experience, I couldn’t agree more. But sometimes the danfo drivers are a reflection of his passengers. The passengers kind of encourage those danfo drivers reckless driving by being silent, thereby edging them on.
        Although there are also other factor like the drivers being drunk, just being release from yaba left, the stubborn , impatient and Fuji blaring ones amidst a host of other maladies that befell them. It seems there is another spirit that possesses some of them when they are behind the wheel.
        May Psalm 23 never lose it efficacy when times comes to to deliver us in a flash when the spirit is in over drive.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Two excellent companions. 🙂

          Lol @ just released from Yaba left. Indeed, judging from the erratic behaviour that most of them display, they either need psychological evaluation or spiritual deliverance.

          Amen to that prayer!

          Liked by 1 person

  24. Wow! You definitely had just cause to be angry. It may not have been so much about the car but the sense of entitlement and total disregard for your safety and property. I would’ve spontaneously combusted…but I digress. I pray that today is better and that you can get your car repaired with no cost to you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Michelle,

      Thank you so much, your kind prayer put a smile on my face. 🙂

      You truly understand how I felt. Indeed, it was not so much about the car, it was mostly their disregard for my property/safety that ignited my annoyance.

      The truth is that as Christians, we sometimes struggle with trying not to fall into the temptation that comes with anger, but honestly speaking, there are times when it’s the only natural reaction.

      Recently, I was told that anger in itself is not a sin, but that we should be mindful that it doesn’t lead us into sin. I guess our experiences teach us, we learn and we grow.

      Have a wonderful week.

      Liked by 1 person

  25. I’m sorry for your car but Allah the only reaction I have right now is rib-hurting laughter 😅
    I’m sorry ‘Nedu lol. But Nigeria can be mad when on the road. Just plain mad. It’s like people leave their minds outside the vehicle and assume they’re stuck in GTA.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Uju,

      I was laughing as I typed this post, especially when I recalled my sinister plot to retrieve an Eye for an Eye. 😀

      Ah! Indeed madness. To drive near-unscathed in Lagos, one must master the art of 2-way thinking, simultaneously reasoning for one’s self and the other drivers.

      Thank you for stopping by, have a great week.

      Like

  26. Aww pele.

    Really sorry. I hope your car is okay and that you are fine as well.

    And yes, your anger is valid. Sorry doesn’t magically make your vex disappear. It is SO bluddy rude to not even acknowledge. I don’t know why Lagosians don’t like to apologise when they bash someone’s car. Especially because, in theory, everyone should have at least 3rd Party Insurance, so what is hard really, if you HAVE to fix it? Some things sorry is too cheap to fix.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Ekene,

      Thank you so much, I am fine now, my car is scarred but mostly unhurt. 😀

      Sometimes, sorry even has a way of fanning the embers of one’s anger especially when it’s the futile sort of apology, the one that holds no comfort at all.

      Indeed it is. If I could gather all the “Sorries” that I’ve been generously gifted on Lagos roads into a basket and take them to the bank, I’d be fairly wealthy by now. Lol

      Have a lovely week.

      Like

  27. Just imagine. “We are in Nigeria” tshhew. It has come to a point where we now blame our own careless attitude on Nigeria. I’m pretty convinced she was texting and driving. Indeed may she find herself in many Nigerias.

    As for the others ……
    Ooh poor car

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Grace,

      Indeed, we blame our carelessness, absent-mindedness and recklessness on our society. Excluding ourselves from blame.

      This is Nigeria can be interpreted as “The more you look the less you see” or “Anything goes”.

      Thank you for reading . Have a great week

      Like

  28. Hi there,

    “This is Nigeria.” Smh. May she find herself in many Nigerias indeed. 😒 Sorry for all the heedless and irresponsible interactions with your poor car. Ugh. When anger placates, it’s an interesting place to be, isn’t it? What a dichotomy. Take care…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Lady MM,

      Thank you so much, I feel much better now.

      A dichotomy indeed. Funny how anger itself is sometimes sufficient to placate an angry person. Comparable to a snake eating its own tail. 😀

      Have a beautiful week.

      Liked by 1 person

  29. Driving in Lagos is insane!

    Goodness, my mum says any time you go out and come back with your car in one piece, that day is a good day. Bus drivers, Keke Napeps and even the people in tush AC cars. One of these so called tush people, on a totally free road drove so quickly and so close to me that he bashed my side mirror. Gosh!

    Ndo.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Kachee,

      Indeed it is. Sometimes it feels like a jungle and not a road, one is so busy concentrating on maneuvering and outsmarting other drivers, or is “other Tarzans” more apt? 😀

      Ah! It’s even the tush ones that misbehave when faced with the consequences of their road rage. They feel entitled, speaking plenty good English and falsely assuming that others have to tolerate their brand of rubbish. Lol

      Thank you for stopping by, have a lovely week.

      Like

  30. Three times in 2months😱😱
    Driving in Lagos is such a mess!!
    I don’t understand what this is Nigeria means , “this is Nigeria,no need to be more careful in future?”.
    Nigerians do too much nonsense in the name of Nigeria.
    Sorry, hopefully the damage doesn’t cost too much to repair.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Tonye,

      Lol… I felt very bad o.

      Indeed, some of us hide behind our Nigerianness when we misbehave. Perhaps This is Nigeria is another way of saying ” Anything can happen” or “Take it as you see it “.

      Ah! I will leave the car for a while before repairing and re-painting the entire body, I need to be certain that this season of bashing has truly passed. XD

      Thank you so much, have a happy week.

      Liked by 2 people

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