I’m not giving up on you

At first glance, certain events seem irredeemable, absolutely down the drains of annihilation and beyond the grasp of salvation. One might wish and wish with all their might, but once past that finish line of destruction some things remain irreversible you see.

One example that comes to mind is preparing ògì corn pap in a pot that is atop a stove, and stirring absentmindedly until alas the pudding thickens, inadvertently setting into wobbly èko. Rapidly stirring in a futile attempt to salvage the situation only condemns it further, deeper into its solid state, because èko will never revert to flowy pap. Q.E.D.

Still on the topic of cooking, as I find that quite a number of culinary mistakes have a way of being stubbornly unresponsive even after being gently cajoled back to the path of purposefulness, overly-salty rice is another example.  How does one un-salt rice that’s bordering on becoming quite like Lot’s disobedient wife?  A lost cause, really.

Likewise, tears that have begun to run down one’s face.  One can’t un-cry those, so might as well have a good cry, ruined mascara or not, puzzled/alarmed spectators be damned.

In staying the course of bodily emissions, one cannot not add farts to this list, for a fart that’s been let out cannot be tidily tucked back in.  So, one might as well allow the offended others marinate in one’s own offensive essence.

Drawing (5)

And whilst magnanimously permitting them to do so, one must have the requisite self-righteous facial expression in place, arranging one’s mug into an almost bored look as though one is oh so above the mortal act of emitting gases from the putrefied remains of digested food within their own bowels.

Because the way I see it, there’s no point letting one’s self get accused by the offended others, as if one isn’t also suffering the same misfortune of having their oxygen defiled so inconsiderately.

But with the things that are still within my power to alter the course of their fate – “The Redeemables”,  I feel almost obliged to play God or a Frankenstein-esque surgeon at best.  Here are some of my favourites:

1) Congealed Favourite Nail Polish:  This might be given a new lease of life by adding clear nail varnish.  The poorly thought-out idea that adding nail polish remover would solve the problem, will only hold one’s hands and take them to an irredeemable point even more seemingly irredeemable than the original point. Quite like adding sugar to too-salty rice, as though one sought to create a more palatable relief for diarrhoea.

2) Agreeable Skirts joined to Less agreeable Bodices:  While it is perfectly understandable to expect, in that optimistic happy-after-ever sort of way, that a stitched union would last forever, sadly there are times when one realises that they’ve become incompatible with the butter to their bread. Indeed, it is at this point that “till death do us part” can be interpreted to suit one’s selfish interest, so let the Whole die and then Lazarus the more preferred Half.

First separate both at the waist line seam, then ditch the bodice and attach new waist band to the bottom and voila! New-ish skirt, now single and free to mingle.

Drawing (2)

3) Agreeable Bodices joined to Less agreeable Skirts: Again, the soured union between both may be dissolved and agreeable bodice allowed to find fresh love with a more agreeable partner which might even be trousers, giving birth to a smashing new jumpsuit. Who said procreation had to be strictly biological?

First separate both at the waist line seam, then ditch the skirt and attach the trousers.

Drawing (3)

Anyway, it goes without saying that even with life, there are instances that at first appear irrevocably gone-with-the-wind but all it takes is an understanding smile, kind gesture or even a cheery compliment to lift another person out the seemingly bottomless pit of despondency.

For who knows what awaits us if only we try, try, try again. 🙂

Sign

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103 comments

  1. I wonder how you think up these things, Nedu 😀 Seriously! Did you just write about farts? Lol.
    Good one.

    Potatoes actually don’t redeem salt from food. Heard it. Experimented it. Doesn’t work. The best you can do is what Timi said: Cook more.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Uju,

      Ah, you know how these things go, life happens and we find writing inspiration. 😀

      Lol… Really? I wasn’t too keen on potato-flavoured rice anyway, more rice it is then.

      Thank you so much for reading this, have a happy rest-of-the-week.

      Like

  2. Hi Nedu, I need to carry my dictionary while i read your posts but this one sounds so familiar

    “for a fart that’s been let out cannot be tidily tucked back in”

    Well done girl

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Lady,

      I guess you’ve been busy, please come back to blogging, I miss your insightful posts.

      Ah, “Sage” sounds so important. You’ve made me smile. Lol

      Thank you so much for the support, means a lot to me. 🙂

      Best wishes for the rest of the week!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. You know how much I love your writing Nedu…
    The re-working of clothes is so me! I have never used a machine, but I will sit and by hand, patiently convert an old dress into two separates; or do as you do and make a whole new union.
    Cannot come and waste the cloth.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Doc Sandy,

      Lol @ Cannot come and waste cloth. I agree with you!

      You are the real MVP, hand sewing is the foundation of an excellent dressmaker. 🙂

      Thank you so much for your visiting, I enjoyed reading your kind comment.

      Enjoy the rest of the week.

      Like

  4. You are wonderfully, whimsically philosophical…I love it 🙂 Thank you for this entertaining and thought-provoking piece…I’ve long referenced the expressions, “you can’t un-ring the bell”, you can’t un-see what you have seen/heard…and, now, I have your expressions to reflect on when I ponder those things that cannot be rectified. However, as you’ve adeptly pointed out, modification/mitigation allows for an optimistic and positive re-frame…and, here is proof…back in the day, I rocked a couple jump suits…and when I believed the occasion called for that show of style, I took full advantage 🙂 Having said that, I have a feeling that, even allowing for historical context, I would cringe if I saw a photo (thankfully, I’m not a photo person, so there is no evidence to contradict my smug memories 🙂 ). Thanks for sharing…really, really well written (as always)! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Truly,

      Your kind words put a big smile on my face. 😀

      Indeed, there are those things that cannot be undone, best to accept the reality and get on with life.

      I absolutely love your point of view- “modification/mitigation allows for an optimistic and positive re-frame” Spot on!

      Lol @ “Smug memories” Don’t we all have those. 😀

      Thank you so much for reading, have a super duper lovely blessed weekend!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Bisi,

      Thank you so much for your kind words, it means a lot to me.

      Indeed, there are things that we cannot change regardless of how hard we try. 🙂

      Best wishes for the rest of the week.

      Like

    1. Hey Larz!

      Ah, “Oracle” cracked me up, for some reason that word always reminds me of Chinua Achebe’s ‘Things Fall Apart’. 😀

      I’m fine, thank you. And you? I noticed you took a mini-break from the blog streets, welcome back dear.

      Best wishes for the new week.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. How sweet! You are such an amazing writer. I am so glad I found your blog too…:-) I never knew you are a Writer. I used to stop by your Instagram feed to admire your amazing creations now I have another platform to come to. Have a beautiful weekend. *hugs*

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Lady Idu !

      Thank you so much for stopping by and for your very kind words, I’m glad you enjoyed reading this.

      Ah, I tend to fall into that salt trap quite a bit too. 😀

      Number 2 is a great way of building one’s collection of skirts.

      Have a lovely weekend.

      Like

  6. He,he,he. It would be a feat to try to tuck in a fart that’s bent on being let out. Your analogy is brilliant my dear and indeed, we never give up on trying even if we have to make do with a Lazarused bottom half. Thank you for the laugh 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, a big feat indeed.

      I imagine one would need a plastic fishing net with a long handle to first catch the fart, I also imagine that once caught, the fart would resist captivity, wriggling this way and that, for it’d be quite slippery, I imagine. XD

      Lol… You noticed the reference to Lazarus.

      I’m glad you saw the lighter side, thank you so much for reading, best wishes for the rest of the week!

      Like

  7. Hmmm. Indeed, all it takes sometimes is just the will – mostly fuelled by need or deep want.

    Boarding house experience made me have a ‘knee jerk’ disagreement with your eko or lumpy ogí proposition; just the right amount of water and milk/milo may salvage the situation but I suppose it’s all relative.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Tony,

      Indeed, when there’s a will there’s a way. Yes, one has got to need/want it enough to trigger the action for change

      Ah, I also did that eko and milk combo in boarding school, we used to call it eko flakes, I loved it.

      Yes, relative in a “make the most of every situation regardless of the outcome” kinda way. 😀

      Thank you for chipping in, best wishes for the rest of the week.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. So, Oluchee accused me yesterday of being absent and it for me thinking, How can I tell you that I read all your posts when I haven’t dropped a comment praising your great swordsmith greatness in a while?
    I’m not quite a farter but I don’t believe in giving people grief if they fart in front of me. Can I breathe fresh air, if yes, I didn’t notice anything.
    The sewing hacks are quite nice, personally I reformed one of my favorite maxis because the top was a little too tight.
    I have a question though, how do I cover up my burping & belching. I’ve found it irritates quite a lot of people.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Uju,

      Lol @ Oluchee’s accusation, I noticed you took a break from the blog streets. Thank you so much for reading.

      “Farter” has a funny ring to it that cracked me up majorly. I simply hold my breath and then go forth and seek fresh air.

      Yes, sewing hacks are nice, I enjoy the modifications that one can make with a little nip and tuck here and there.

      Ah, burps will be burps. There’s a 2-step method of belching discreetly, I allow the air out without opening my mouth which suppresses the sound, then I open my mouth slightly. Practise, practise, practise! 😀

      Best wishes for the rest of the week.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Timeka,

      Indeed we must, for who knows the possibilities that we might unearth.

      Amen to that! 😀

      Thank you so much for visiting, best wishes for the rest of the week.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. This is just my kind of post! Whenever I read you, I realize I still have a ways to go in this blogging thing. Your writing is so…. I lack words. Funny post. I love how you began with the irredeemables and proceeded to the redeemables. Makes one appreciate it as much. Jisike!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Chibugo,

      I sincerely appreciate your kind words. 🙂

      Lol… The Irredeemables vs. Redeemables, life would be far simpler if we learned to pick our battles for change wisely.

      Thank you so much for reading, enjoy the rest of the week.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Just couldn’t stop laughing. Started with palpable seriousness, only to get to the next paragraph and couldn’t help but shake my head in disbelief for Nedu.

    Good job.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. oh yes, there are some irredeemable messes in life like pap turned eko, escaped tears running down ones cheeks and that stomach gas that just won’t comply with ethics, etiquette and decorum! I finally found the solution of boiling Irish potatoes in over salty rice and letting osmosis do the pot some good. Oh, polish thinner to thickened nail polish works to an extent. And true, for those irredeemable messes outside clothes and cooking, an understanding smile, kind gesture or even a cheery compliment can do a world of good.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Inez,

      Lol @ “stomach gas that just won’t comply with ethics, etiquette and decorum”

      Aha! So osmosis is behind the science of that potato solution, Kachee also shared this tip earlier. 😀

      Funny how a smile can sometimes warm the most hardened of hearts.

      Thank you for reading, enjoy the rest of the week.

      Like

  12. Neddddduu of Destiny! Kai! Your ability to play on words leaves me gobsmacked all day everyday shaaaaa! As in.. without doubt Nne.. you are the True Super Star of “Word Porn”.. and i say that without thinking twice.. After you na you oh!!! hehehe you go gurl..

    This was a fun post. I must say that I particularly like how your words on here lets my mind wonder in an intellectual kinda way! Biko.. #NeduForPresident #IMwithHer lol.. Cheers NNe. xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Duru,

      Lol @ “I’m with her”. You keep giving me these confidence pills that I keep popping and washing down with pineapple juice. 😀

      Thank you so much for your warm comments !

      Enjoy the rest of the week.

      Like

  13. Omg!! If you saw the way I was laughing to myself eh!!! At one point when I kept reading, I was like ‘are you actually talking about gas?!?” Hahahahaha. Nedoux you won’t injure me with laughter abeg. This was a lovely read. I like how you began, at first I was already preparing to read a true life story or one of those stories that touch, all for me to get to the ‘ogi’ part and be like…’this woman’ I enjoyed the smooth sail of how you wove this to produce a good conclusion of always choosing to keep trying again, and your genius self added your gift into it. ‘Fabric’

    I think I’ve faced something similar with ogi too. Ah, it wasn’t funny and I can remember my mum being so upset but trying to eat it with love. Haha. The lumps are just not friendly at all and I felt really bad that ordinary ogi I could not mix well at the time..Loool. I think amala and eba can still find a way around if you can pick up the flaw on time.

    Sorry for my long epistle. You always have me talking a lot. lol.

    It’s a wonder you haven’t had your book yet. xo!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Itunu,

      Lol @ “Stories that touch” . I’m glad you enjoyed reading this, but you know I love reading epistles, the longer the better. 🙂

      Ah, those lumps come out of nowhere, one minute things are literally going smoothly, and then the next minute, poof! I agree, Amala and Eba are somewhat redeemable, they give you a second chance to right your wrongs.

      Ah, considering my current marriage to Procrastination, writing a book will probably take me ages. Thanks for planting the seed in my head.

      Thank you so much for leaving me this delicious comment, I enjoyed reading it.

      Have a happy week!

      Like

  14. Nedoux, I love this post! I’m still giggling about the fart. 🙂 We really do need to say I’m sorry and excuse me more. We also need to find creative solutions to our problems without giving up so easily. I need a pic of corn pap…sounds yummy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Dami,

      Ah, a classic exercise in futility. I’ve walked down that path before. 😀

      Thank you so much for visiting, enjoy the rest of the weekend

      Like

    1. Hi Timi,

      Lol… Indeed, necessity is the mother of invention. I didn’t even think of this ‘mix’ solution. 😀

      Thank you so much for stopping by, have a lovely weekend.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Kachee,

      Really? So, potatoes can redeem salty rice, that’s interesting. I’m off to ponder the science behind that. Lol

      Ah, you are not alone, pap making is an art, I believe there is a certain angle at which one must curve their wrists while stirring the mix, and this remains a secret known only to a chosen few. I love yellow akamu with lots of milk.

      Thank you so much! 🙂

      Have a lovely weekend.

      Like

    1. Hi Chioma,

      I’m happy that the message resonated with you. It’s a little like your poem “A script from life”, at some point, we learn to accept the things that can’t be undone and tweak the things that can be adapted.

      Thank you so much for your kind words. 🙂

      Have a super happy weekend!

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Reblogged this on lifehomeandaway and commented:
    I needed to read this, it’s a funny way of accepting our mistakes and finding hope.
    Change your strategy, change your tactics, change your arguement, but never change you or your core beliefs.
    Please visit Nedoux blog her style of writing is fun, refreshing and just lovely.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Nedoux, you know how to weave words and your analogies give me joy. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the fact that no matter how bad something gets, it can be rewired into something new and different. LOL at the skirt now single and free to mingle.

    I once had a similar experience with pap. In my case it had HUGE lumps in it. No amount of stirring could fix that. Some things can not come back to the way they were but they could be rebranded.

    Hahahaha at you can not take back a fart. You eh. So true.

    Your blog is exceptionally unique!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Precious,

      It always makes me happy when the message within a post resonates with readers. Indeed, sometimes an outcome can be revamped and rebranded in a new and different form.

      Ah, making smooth pap is an art, those lumps can be so sneaky, they come out of no where! 😀

      Lol… Farts are beyond redemption, really.

      Thank you so much for your kind words, means a lot to me!

      Have a lovely weekend.

      Like

  17. Agreed on life as one big metaphor, half full-half empty, all depends on how we see it, abi?

    Here’s one, love eko, will be glad if my ogi turns to one:)

    Your ending reminds me of Jimmy Cliff – The harder they come: ‘you can get it if you really want but you must try, try and try, try and try…’

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Folake,

      It sure does, our perspective is what makes the difference.

      Lol @ “love eko, will be glad if my ogi turns to one” Oh, I love the optimism within that, one might also interpret it as- “Make the most of every outcome, regardless”. 🙂

      Thank you so much for sharing your delightful thoughts.

      Have a lovely weekend.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Fun fact: I have never made akamu in my life. And I never intend to. I don’t like the way it looks or smells, so I’m just not about that life.

    Sewing though…more my speed. While I’ve never taken a dress apart to form a top and skirt, I have converted bubus my grandma bought to mini dresses that I prefer.

    There are things in life that with a little effort and amendment will be more suited to you.

    Berry Dakara Blog

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Berry,

      Ah, right after crisp puff-puff, the streets of heaven would also be paved with the akamu and akara combo. Breakfast of champions! 😀

      That’s a great sewing hack, carving out a cute dress from a billowy bubu.

      Indeed, there are those things in life that can be turned around with a little this and that, plus a sprinkle of optimism.

      Thank you so much for for chipping in, have a lovely weekend.

      Like

    1. Hello X43,

      Lol @ “writing ish”

      Sewing as a metaphor for life. Isn’t life really one big sewing lesson, as we stitch our triumphs and challenges into the stories of our lives. 🙂

      Thank you for stopping by, enjoy the rest of the week.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Michelle,

      Lol… At least you tried. Personally, I prefer to make pap in a bowl, adding hot water to the dissolved mix, because that cooking-in-a-pot business is like gambling with an error that cannot be reversed.

      Thank you for reading, enjoy the rest of the week. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Oh my! That Ogi situation is so aptly described so much I could remember the many times I have been a victim of absentmindly concorting a sacrifice for the gods.

    You simply have your way with words, chai , I tuale oo . I enjoyed reading this.

    Like Adaeze mentioned, when are you publishing your book.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Immanuel,

      Lol @ “sacrifice for the gods”. Your sense of humour though! XD

      Thank you so much for your kind words, it is one thing to write and another to have readers who appreciate it, means a lot to me.

      Ah, right after Adaeze publishes her much awaited book.

      Best wishes.

      Liked by 1 person

  20. 👍👍👍 This was lovely…I have a couple of dresses that are so mismatched…and I will try out your tricks. Hilarious too; watery ogi that will not thicken no matter how hot your fire is. But you never know till you try, right?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Kay,

      I’m glad that you found the tips useful.

      Lol… you are right, there’s always that stubborn breed of ogi. Indeed, you never know what you might concoct till you try again, or even keep stirring. 😀

      Thank you so much for reading, enjoy the rest of the week.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Adaeze,

      I’ll write it right after you’ve written that delicious book that we’ve all been waiting for. 😉

      I sincerely appreciate the vote of confidence, it means a lot to me dear.

      Have a super rest-of -the-week!

      Like

  21. All I can scribble down is….I’m glad I met you at the last #nitc. Thank you for helping me to find your Blog.
    Your Blog posts are Very thrilling and Insightful.
    Do keep up the good work.
    Love,
    Specialmobby

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hiya!

      What can I say, you inspired me. You see, our mothers were right when they advised us to keep role models as friends. 😀

      Thank you so much for reading, enjoy the rest of the week.

      Liked by 1 person

  22. I really agree with you we give up so easily on things we don’t want to redeem even those circumstances that are redeemable. A kind word, a soft smile and a simple sorry would have gone a long way to redeem things.
    You always crack me up and make me think with your posts.Thanks Chinedu

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Christy,

      I couldn’t have articulated this better. Indeed, kind words, soft smiles and simple sorries can turn things around for the better.

      Ah, thank you so much for always reading. 🙂

      Enjoy the rest of the week.

      Like

    1. Hi Tonye,

      Lol… Sewing and life aren’t that much different really, putting bits together till it all makes sense. 😀

      Thank you so much for reading, enjoy the rest of the week dear.

      Liked by 1 person

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