At first glance, certain events seem irredeemable, absolutely down the drains of annihilation and beyond the grasp of salvation. One might wish and wish with all their might, but once past that finish line of destruction some things remain irreversible you see.
One example that comes to mind is preparing ògì corn pap in a pot that is atop a stove, and stirring absentmindedly until alas the pudding thickens, inadvertently setting into wobbly èko. Rapidly stirring in a futile attempt to salvage the situation only condemns it further, deeper into its solid state, because èko will never revert to flowy pap. Q.E.D.
Still on the topic of cooking, as I find that quite a number of culinary mistakes have a way of being stubbornly unresponsive even after being gently cajoled back to the path of purposefulness, overly-salty rice is another example. How does one un-salt rice that’s bordering on becoming quite like Lot’s disobedient wife? A lost cause, really.
Likewise, tears that have begun to run down one’s face. One can’t un-cry those, so might as well have a good cry, ruined mascara or not, puzzled/alarmed spectators be damned.
In staying the course of bodily emissions, one cannot not add farts to this list, for a fart that’s been let out cannot be tidily tucked back in. So, one might as well allow the offended others marinate in one’s own offensive essence.
And whilst magnanimously permitting them to do so, one must have the requisite self-righteous facial expression in place, arranging one’s mug into an almost bored look as though one is oh so above the mortal act of emitting gases from the putrefied remains of digested food within their own bowels.
Because the way I see it, there’s no point letting one’s self get accused by the offended others, as if one isn’t also suffering the same misfortune of having their oxygen defiled so inconsiderately.
But with the things that are still within my power to alter the course of their fate – “The Redeemables”, I feel almost obliged to play God or a Frankenstein-esque surgeon at best. Here are some of my favourites:
1) Congealed Favourite Nail Polish: This might be given a new lease of life by adding clear nail varnish. The poorly thought-out idea that adding nail polish remover would solve the problem, will only hold one’s hands and take them to an irredeemable point even more seemingly irredeemable than the original point. Quite like adding sugar to too-salty rice, as though one sought to create a more palatable relief for diarrhoea.
2) Agreeable Skirts joined to Less agreeable Bodices: While it is perfectly understandable to expect, in that optimistic happy-after-ever sort of way, that a stitched union would last forever, sadly there are times when one realises that they’ve become incompatible with the butter to their bread. Indeed, it is at this point that “till death do us part” can be interpreted to suit one’s selfish interest, so let the Whole die and then Lazarus the more preferred Half.
First separate both at the waist line seam, then ditch the bodice and attach new waist band to the bottom and voila! New-ish skirt, now single and free to mingle.
3) Agreeable Bodices joined to Less agreeable Skirts: Again, the soured union between both may be dissolved and agreeable bodice allowed to find fresh love with a more agreeable partner which might even be trousers, giving birth to a smashing new jumpsuit. Who said procreation had to be strictly biological?
First separate both at the waist line seam, then ditch the skirt and attach the trousers.
Anyway, it goes without saying that even with life, there are instances that at first appear irrevocably gone-with-the-wind but all it takes is an understanding smile, kind gesture or even a cheery compliment to lift another person out the seemingly bottomless pit of despondency.
For who knows what awaits us if only we try, try, try again. 🙂