Are you kidding!

A twitter thread about the not-so-easy side of pregnancy and childbirth swept the social media streets a few weeks ago. It caused quite the whirlwind.

Well, I found it to be refreshingly honest albeit brutally disillusioning, but in a very good way. It was necessary to hear the other side of the female experience, I felt “saved” from the danger of a single story.

Recently, I’ve begun to question that I even have sufficient maternal instinct. I mean, my own mother would happily take a small bite and give me the rest of her food if I so much as looked hungry. That self-sacrificing, unselfish spirit, I’m not certain that I possess it yet. Perhaps, it envelopes one after their child is born?

I imagine that I will be the sort of parent with unsuppressed selfish whims, the type that would not want to share their bag of Maltesers with the kids, the kind that would sneak off and hide in their car to eat savoury snacks/ sugary treats whilst flipping the pages of a good book. Then, wipe off every single telltale crumb from my lips before creeping back to poker-face the kids, and resume the parenting gig.

What kind of mother would I be? I wonder. I’m certain that I’d be a liberal one. It would be a childhood filled with literature, craft and meaningful conversations. I hope it’s one that leaves them with heartfelt memories.

Still, would I be able to give myself without losing myself? Or do I lose some of me to become a sublime version of me? – One’s Self (2nd ed.) (Actually 1 millionth edition. I keep evolving, you see). I don’t know…

Anyway, sewing for my kids is something I rather look forward to. It is both economical and fun. I’ve shared how to sew a simple but cute little girl’s dress.

I suppose filming videos is quite like pregnancy and birth, most people simply see the gentle swell of the belly, the happy expectation, not seeing the struggles that sometimes lurk underneath the surface. From my bright smile, it’s hard to imagine the number of tiresome bloopers that happened whilst filming this, but we conquered!

Likewise, I know I’ll conquer that phase when it arrives.

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7 comments

  1. I read those things. I can tell you while my fear of just the pain of childbirth was my original issue… Now I am purely traumatized about the whole process in it’s entirety. If I meet a man who says he wants to adopt a kid, I will probably stalk him, wear him down and marry him.

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  2. Hi Nedoux! This video is so very well made! I love it 🙂

    Rejecting the single story is so important because there’s this stereotypical idea of what a devoted mom is supposed to look like, and many people are going to fall short if they compare themselves to it. Growing up, I would have liked my mom to fit that mold sometimes but in hindsight, I’m happy that by living her life, she gave me permission to imagine other ways of being or doing. I think you will be a pretty awesome mom.

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    1. Also dear, I firmly believe there are lots of ways to show people you love and appreciate them. There are 5 love languages or 6 if you include food. But none of them are mutually exclusive. If someone for instance said they loved you but spoke hard words to you, never touched you with love, only with anger, never gave you anything unless they wanted something in return, only ever gave you heaps of food, would you truly believe they loved you?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hi Uju,

        Thank you for stopping by, I’m glad the words are flowing again.

        I sewed one in ankara for her, she loved it.

        You’ve made a great point, no I wouldn’t believe they loved me. Indeed, there are other ways to show love besides sharing chocolates. 😀

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