A twitter thread about the not-so-easy side of pregnancy and childbirth swept the social media streets a few weeks ago. It caused quite the whirlwind.
Well, I found it to be refreshingly honest albeit brutally disillusioning, but in a very good way. It was necessary to hear the other side of the female experience, I felt “saved” from the danger of a single story.
Recently, I’ve begun to question that I even have sufficient maternal instinct. I mean, my own mother would happily take a small bite and give me the rest of her food if I so much as looked hungry. That self-sacrificing, unselfish spirit, I’m not certain that I possess it yet. Perhaps, it envelopes one after their child is born?
I imagine that I will be the sort of parent with unsuppressed selfish whims, the type that would not want to share their bag of Maltesers with the kids, the kind that would sneak off and hide in their car to eat savoury snacks/ sugary treats whilst flipping the pages of a good book. Then, wipe off every single telltale crumb from my lips before creeping back to poker-face the kids, and resume the parenting gig.
What kind of mother would I be? I wonder. I’m certain that I’d be a liberal one. It would be a childhood filled with literature, craft and meaningful conversations. I hope it’s one that leaves them with heartfelt memories.
Still, would I be able to give myself without losing myself? Or do I lose some of me to become a sublime version of me? – One’s Self (2nd ed.) (Actually 1 millionth edition. I keep evolving, you see). I don’t know…
Anyway, sewing for my kids is something I rather look forward to. It is both economical and fun. I’ve shared how to sew a simple but cute little girl’s dress.
I suppose filming videos is quite like pregnancy and birth, most people simply see the gentle swell of the belly, the happy expectation, not seeing the struggles that sometimes lurk underneath the surface. From my bright smile, it’s hard to imagine the number of tiresome bloopers that happened whilst filming this, but we conquered!
Likewise, I know I’ll conquer that phase when it arrives.